Low-rate local rapper caught making funny money

Local rapper Malik Jamerson, A.K.A. “Scoob Nitty“, was arrested in Rocklin Thursday in connection with a counterfeit crime ring. Jamerson and his syndicate have been linked to funny money (counterfeit bills), identity theft, and counterfeit checks. According to reports, they’ve been in the business for about a year now.

Mr. Nitty (I just think that sounds more interesting than Malik Jamerson) and his ring which consisted of his girlfriend and her mother (way to keep it in the family) are said to be responsible for defrauding at least $20,000 from several Northern California businesses. He’s been deemed by the authorities in Rocklin as a “kingpin” and is considered to be the mastermind of this operation. Way to go Mr. Nitty, in a state where businesses are already struggling to stay afloat you thought it would be in your best interest to go and make things worse.

During the raid of the Rocklin residence that served as their base of operations, the cops found funny money, fake checks, magnetic strip readers, and other materials to help them in the process of stealing identities and print up false documents. The craziest part about Mr. Nitty’s funny money operation is that he was able to square away the majority of his supplies from one of your standard neighborhood office supply stores such as Staples or Office Max.

It’s always been a boasting point for some rappers to tout the life of crime they lived before they made it big. The smart ones tend to typically steer clear of that lifestyle once they find success. It is obvious that this is not the case for our pal Scoob Nitty, who clearly did not find rap success because I along with probably everyone else reading this has never heard of him until now.

I would have paid a million bucks (in funny money) to have been a fly on the wall in Scoob Nitty’s last session with his high school guidance counselor. It probably would have sounded something like this:

“The music industry is a tough market to get in to Mr. Jamerson, please consider other options before putting all of your eggs in one basket. We have picked some out for you as alternatives. Here is bottom feeder, peep show janitor, and oh look, you could run a
funny money print shop if all else fails.” 

With any luck, once Mr. Nitty beats the charges or gets out of prison, this could be the kind of street cred that catapults him to success. I hear that non-violent over-the-hill rappers who see UFO’s (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orDbRcLwDX4) are making a strong
comeback. Not really, but who knows what people will be into when he gets out.

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