Get your hands off my Happy Meal

Just don't eat me every day, alright?

Growing up I can remember the joys of eating a McDonald’s Happy Meal. Sometimes it was the highlight of my week. What could be better? A McDonald’s cheeseburger with those little onions and extra pickles, that cheese that you could only get at McDonald’s, those golden fries with salt you could lick off your fingers, a cup of Hi-C orange (it tasted nothing like orange but it was amazing), all topped off with a toy…all of those things were beautiful about that place. That and for that hour I was allotted to frolic and run a muck with the other children on their Play Place. It brings a smile to my face now, just reminiscing on simpler times.

This happy past time of mine is now being threatened. A local woman by the name of Monet Parham has a lawsuit pending against the Golden Arches. She is claiming that the fast-food chain is unfairly targeting children with their Happy Meals and believes that McDonald’s should offer healthier alternatives while doing away with the toys that are offered in the meals.

Wait a second. If you take away the salty greasy food and 86 the toy, how in the hell is that a Happy Meal? Let me answer that for you: it is not a Happy Meal. It then becomes a school lunch. Not a very happy meal at all.

What gives this woman the right to go to an establishment, take a look at the menu, then protest that they remove certain items and make other items available? To me, that is the equivalent of me inviting you over for dinner and upon your arrival you find out I am serving biscuits and gravy with a GI Joe action figure on the side and you demand a healthier alternative and that I take away the toy. That is one way ticket to a ” why don’t you get the hell out”.

I am tired of parents pointing the finger in every direction except in their own. It is your job as a parent to teach your kids the healthy habits you want them to carry on through out life. For someone to try to take a stand against McDonald’s is a cop out from being an
accountable parent. Here is a thought, if you want your kids to eat healthier, then stop taking them to McDonald’s and feed them yourself. Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese, Grimace, the Fry Kids and the Hamburgular did not sign up to take care of your children. They are here to sell Happy Meals.

And of course Happy Meals target children. Have you ever seen an adult with a Happy Meal? They would look pretty damn ridiculous. Are Happy Meals healthy? Hardly. Could they offer healthier alternatives? Sure. But the real concern should be directed at the folks who continue to feed their kids McDonald’s more than once a week. The parents of those who are targeted by the Happy Meal.

These are kids. They do not have jobs to pay for their food or drivers licenses to get them to the restaurant. If anyone should be on trial here it should be the primary facilitator of these trips to Mickey D’s. I got a Happy Meal once a month growing up because my mom and dad knew that anything more than that would not be in my best interest. It was a reward. Positive reinforcement to help me become the glorious human being you see before you today, capable of making healthy and intelligent decisions.

So now as an adult I steer clear of places that may not be good for me. I do not like the way the Ku Klux Klan does business, so I do not go to Klan rallies. I get sick every time I eat Indian food, so I do not eat it anymore. I do not like how sharks go about biting stuff to
see if it is food, so I stay the hell out of the ocean. I guess what I am trying to say here is if you do not agree with McDonald’s practices, then maybe you should just stop going.

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